im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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