I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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