Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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