Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Randomize
