Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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