guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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