I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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