Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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