are you so shy because you have an std?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
