Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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