hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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