best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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