i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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