The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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