Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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