why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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