why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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