That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
