I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
