Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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