When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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