just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
