I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
