My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
