Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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