Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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