sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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