Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
