party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
