I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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