But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
