Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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