The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
