I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
