I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
