So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Someone shattered a urinal.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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