I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Randomize