Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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