He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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