I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
