you traded sex for a burrito?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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