let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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