He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
