maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
