im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
