1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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