I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
