I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
