I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
