everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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